1996

I’ve got a lot of MED cards – after all, the set triggered something of an MTGO renaissance for me. Problem is, I don’t have much opportunity to use these cards, because putting together Classic decks bores me senseless. So I employed my usual solution, and tossed ’em all in a prismatic deck.

I played a few test games, and really enjoyed the old school feel to it. Lots of vintage card faces and classic cards. Then I realized that much of Alpha was reprinted in later sets, and I’ve got a lot of these cards. So I decided to make a theme of it, and started throwing in other old cards, my criterion being anything from Ice Age and back was fair game. STPs, Brainstorms, BoPs, a couple Braingeysers, they all went in.

Here’s the first draft, which we’ll be tweaking from here:

Planeswalkers, Preview and Speculation

Well, here’s the first Planeswalker card, Liliana Vess:

If you don’t know what the hell you’re looking at, let me bring you up to speed real quick:

• Planeswalkers are a new card type, the very first new card type introduced to Magic.
• They aren’t creatures, and can in fact be attacked like players. You can defend them with your own creatures.
• What happens if your opponent attacks your Walker and deal combat damage? It loses Loyalty points – each Walker comes with a certain amount of Loyalty points, which can be found on the bottom right of the card. Liliana has 5. One imagines other walkers will have more or less Loyalty based on power of their abilities, cost, and so forth.
• It seems that each of Vess’s abilities are of the “once per turn, sorcery speed” variety.

Anyway, enough of that boring rules stuff, since if you’re here, you’ve probably seen all this before. What I want to discuss right now is the abilities of the other walkers. Lorwyn will feature five planeswalkers, and from what little information we have, each character will be pretty archetypal, with personalities and abilities that mirror what their color is all about.

So we have Liliana here. She costs 5 mana, has 5 loyalty, and her three abilities are: Cry of Contrition, Vampiric Tutor, and a souped up Living Death. Inducing from this information, what can we expect of the others?

First, I imagine all of them will feature double CC. Wizard’s probably doesn’t want players easily splashing walkers, at least not with the first run. Second, I think we’ll see varying mana costs and loyalties. Third, I think each walker will have a marginal ability that will increase loyalty and allow for some really gamebreaking stuff. Here’s how I see that breaking down.

Chandra, the red walker, will cost 1RR. Abilities: +1: Target creature gains haste. -2: Deal 2 damage to target creature or planeswalker. -6: Some kind of Inferno effect. I see Chandra having the fewest Loyalty points, perhaps 3.

Jace Beleren, the blue entry, will cost 2UU. His profile says he’s about clairvoyance, telepathy, and illusion. So, abilities: +1: An Opt-type effect. -3: This being blue, some kind of card draw or filtering. -7: Put a token into play copying target creature. Since I think mana costs and loyalties will scale up, I’ll put Jace as having 4.

Next up is Ajani Goldmane, the leonin planeswalker representing white. I think he’ll have high loyalty, which is offset by somewhat weak abilities and no +Loyalty abilities. 4WW mana cost. Abilities: -1: Healing Salve. -2: Shelter effect. -5: Wrath of God. Loyalty of 8.

And then last, and since he’s green, probably least, Garruk Wildspeaker. 5GG, loyalty of 7. +1: Giant Growth. -1: Rampant Growth. -4: Overrun effect.

Lots of interesting rules questions I’d love to see answered about Planeswalkers, but if my givens are correct, there’s my speculation. So if I’m even half right about any of these things, I can say “I told you so.”

Master’s Edition Rarities

And finally, a look at rarities. Not only important for draft, rarity influences how we look at the card – say someone hands you a Sakura-Tribe Elder and says it’s rare, you’d see it’s a solid card, but a bit disappointing. Good commons and uncommons fuel set sales, and the better they are, the better your decks will be.

Busted down to private, Rare to Common:

1. Exile
2. Apprentice Wizard
3. River Merfolk
4. Telekinesis
5. Icatian Lieutenant
6. Knights of Thorn
7. Onulet

A Step Down, Rare to Uncommon:

1. Clockwork Beast
2. Derelor
3. Elder Land Wurm
4. Nether Shadow
5. Vodalian Knights
6. Icatian Town
7. Juxtapose
8. Stone Calendar
9. Granite Gargoyle
10. Singing Tree
11. Thunder Spirit

The Big Promotion, Uncommon to Rare:

1. Diamond Valley
2. Contagion
3. Force of Will
4. Ivory Tower
5. Sylvan Library
6. Khabal Ghoul
7. Su-Chi

Into the Farm Leagues, Uncommon to Common:

1. Ashnod’s Transmogrant
2. Brother’s of Fire
3. Death Speakers
4. Hylapterous Lemure
5. Roots
6. Thrull Retainer
7. Wanderlust
8. Phantom Monster
9. Righteous Avengers
10. Sea Sprite
11. Shield Sphere

Bronze to Silver

1. Hymn to Tourach
2. High Tide
3. Illusionary Forces
4. Goblin Grenade
5. Mystic Remora
6. Orcish Mechanics
7. Phyrexian War Beast
8. Psychic Purge
9. Sunken City

What’s it all mean? Well, that Wizards can be mercenaries. The Force of Will promotion is obviously the main cause for that statement, but Sylvan Library and Contagion would have been very nice as uncommons. Hymn to Tourach and Goblin Grenade I have no issue with as uncommons, though Hymns might be a little scarce for our liking.

Some of the demotions I appreciate: I’d be pissed if Stone Calendar, Singing Tree, or Vodalian Knights were my rare.  Exile is probably the sweetest rarity reassignment in the whole set, and I do appreciate it.

I think what surprised me most was just how heinously bad rares used to be. Seriously, Knights of Thorn was a rare. It doesn’t bear too much thinking about – modern R&D prints One with Nothing and gets hate mail, but that’s nothing. Early adopters were cracking garbage like Telekinesis with surprising regularity.

Master’s Edition Set Review: Golds, Lands, and the Blessed End

Lands

There are only six lands in Master’s Edition, so I have the luxury of discussing each of them (briefly) without wearing my fingers down to nubs. That’s a bonus, cause I’ve already written a metric ton of words for this blog.

Diamond Valley:  I really enjoy Diamond Valley’s effect. I also love Safe Haven’s and Arena’s. Here’s the rub: they don’t produce mana. I’m not so crazy about that. So when you’re constructing a deck with these guys, look at them as free, uncounterable spells rather than lands. Now Diamond Valley in particular is a cool reprint because, like Juzam Djinn, it costs an inordinate amount of cash for paper players. I imagine you’ll be able to snare this for a buck and change, though, which is kinda fun. The effect is good – both Helen Mirren, the Moaning Well and Starlit Sanctum saw play. Scoring some free life out of your dying creatures is quite nice, but I doubt you’ll want to run this as a four of. In Prismatic, it’ll be a great singleton for tutoring up with Tolaria West, assuming that particular card doesn’t get banned.

Island of Wak-Wak: Green mages and Moat players, rejoice. Wak-Wak is going to take care of you. Everybody else, you can probably just walk on by.

Lake of the Dead: This thing has supercharged some excruciatingly painful Drain Lifes, and it’s back online to continue this malicious practice. If you’re thinking about pairing this up with Crucible of Worlds, well, you wouldn’t be the first. Frankly, I don’t think it needs it – five mana from two lands is a nice exchange rate. Especially late in games when you’re topdecking unneeded lands, this will give you some added utility.

Rainbow Vale: You’d have to be pretty hard up for mana fixing to run this guy. It would probably have an ability that read, “Tap: Add 1 mana to your mana pool and don’t give your opponent a free land” if it were printed today, but alas, it was printed in the time of Fallen Empires, when men were men and bad cards were bad. But, as a guy who’s tried to make some really wonky rainbow decks work, I won’t rule out testing it a few times.

Thawing Glaciers: Man, I would have loved this card pre-errata. As it stands, it’s horrifically slow – which I suppose is fitting, seeing as it’s a glacier and all. But let me tell you about a combo that’s actually kind of good (surprising for both its components and its source, I assure you): Stone-Seeder Hierophant + Thawing Glaciers. Isn’t that elegant? I’m gonna trademark that right now. It’s like the cards were destined for one another – I suspect somebody on the Ravnica design team likes Thawing Glaciers and just wanted to print himself a combo. So for as long as you can keep both combo pieces in play, you can double your manabase each turn. Not only is that some great thinning, it can power out some ungodly huge Wurmcalls.

Mishra’s Factory: Wollpert and co. printing this as is was one of the more charitable deeds of Master’s Edition – I figured they’d bump this to rare and cackle maniacally. I’m a huge proponent of manlands because Draw-Go players can do nothing to them (except bounce). I’m really pleased with Assembly-Worker’s presence in Time Spiral now that we have the Factory – I’m thinking I’ll build a Brother’s War deck one of these days. All in all, cool card.

Gold

Old gold cards were always interesting. First off, their frames didn’t even approach gold when it comes to color – looking at one right now, I’d say we’re closer to vomit than anything. Early gold cards were so novel that Wizards didn’t even feel compelled to make them good or interesting- hell, they figured, they’ll play Jasmine Boreal just cause of the frame. And they were right. So Legends was chock-full of legends with terrible abilities and ugly manacosts. Which I love, by the way. Because multicolored legends are needed for my favorite format, Elder Dragon Highlander. If you don’t know what it is, follow this link and be enlightened. MED gives us 5 new prospective generals, and some of them are actually kind of intriguing.

Dakkon Blackblade is a huge favorite of players everywhere. I suspect this is because of Richard Kane Ferguson’s incredible artwork – I have no idea why that man didn’t get more commissions from WOTC. Dakkon’s a great card for EDH players who like the WUB color combination. Before Dakkon, your only options were Merieke Ri Berit (my choice), Zur the Enchanter (also viable), then Ertai and Dromar (both too expensive). When possible I like to build my decks so they really highlight and support my general’s abilities – it’ll be interesting to see how a WUB player might power out lands.

Jacques La Vert likewise opens up a new color combination in WGR. Sure, this combo already had Rith (and Hazezon Tamar) in there, but he’s hugely popular and hugely expensive. Jacques ability is pretty bland, but he’s a 3/4 for four, which isn’t awful, and he can toughen up Saproling tokens and the like.

Ditto Phelddagrif. Treva runs you 15 tickets, and I ain’t paying that to play some goofy EDH deck. It’s got a suite of abilities that intrigue Johnnies, and the purple hippo is a respectable beater all by itself. What’s unfortunate is that most of the cards which would combo with ‘Grif’s abilities, like False Cure, are out of its colors, which means you can’t play them in the deck. But I’m sure creative players will figure something out.

Now UBR has never been short on generals. You’ve got Sol’Kanar (featuring awesome RKF art), Nicol Bolas, and Garza Sol all as credible generals who can be had on the cheap. I’ve been having a ton of fun with my Nicol Bolas deck, using cards like Warp World and Spellweaver Volute, but that’s a story for another post. But Lord of Tresserhorn outshines them all in deckbuilding challenge and intrigue.  The Lord is one of the most extreme examples of putting all your eggs in one basket, and the possible reward is tantalizing. A 10/4 regenerating beater online by turn 5 is certainly enticing. Let me mention now that Pandemonium is in the timeshifted cards. It’ll be interesting to see what cards you can run to neutralize his drawbacks, or even turn them into positives. I haven’t thought about it at any length, but if the price is right on this guy, I certainly will.

I actually already have an EDH deck that Adun Oakenshield will fit perfectly into – my Sekkuar, Deathkeeper deck. Before now, the Deathkeeper was your only option (excepting Darigaaz). Even with Adun’s printing, I don’t see why you’d pick him as your general – since Sekkuar already encourages an BRG deck focused on the graveyard, you might as well have him head up your forces. Because let’s face it, Adun’s not the best card around. He’s got the dreaded 1/2 body (made infamous by Squire and partially redeemed by Willbender) for 3, and a costly ability without much pop to it. I guess a Raise Dead every turn is nice, but I can’t see Oakenshield sticking on the board for very long – a stiff breeze could send this guy to the graveyard, and once he’s there, he can’t get himself out. Unless he’s got a twin. But then he’d be Stangg. P.S. Reprint Stangg.

As for non-General gold cards, you’ve got Energy Arc, Centaur Archer, Lim-Dul’s Vault (filled with nothing but circumflexes, I hear), Fire Covenant, and Hymn of Rebirth.

All I have to say is I don’t like Energy Arc. Centaur Archer is a nice card, with aggressive stats and the dubious honor of being the only red archer in Magic. Hymn of Rebirth I’m a big fan of, since it just makes sense to me that GW should be reanimating things. Fire Arc will sometimes be worth the pain to sweep the board, though Tempest’s Spontaneous Combustion probably does the job better. Fire Covenant is just one more Black and/or Red card that combos with Children of Korlis, though, joining Soulgorger Orgg and Infernal Contract.  Lim-Dul’s Vault is a nice card that’s getting plenty of buzz from the Classic guys for its enabling of combo decks. I don’t really care about any of that, it’ll just be nice dig feverishly through your deck looking for that one answer you need.

Tribal:

Nothing to see here – Centaur Archer could see play in an extremely aggressive RG Centaur deck, however.

Prismatic:

Thawing Glaciers, Lim-Dul’s Vault, and Mishra’s Factory will all see some burn.

Whew. That’s it and that’s all for the Master’s Edition set review. I’ve got one more post coming up shortly on the rarities of the set, but other than that, you won’t hear me talk about it until the release date. I’ll keep hammering away at this blog, and with Lorwyn previews and some decks I’ve been tinkering with, this space should be pretty busy in the upcoming weeks.

Master’s Edition Set Review: Artifacts

Artifacts

You can call the Master’s Edition Artifacts the Dirty (Two) Dozen. There are a lot of nasty cards in here, the sort that will make you tear out your hair in clumps and scream abuse at your monitor. Many of their effects are irritating, some devastating. And this being Master’s, some of them are pure dreck. That being said, this infuriating brown contingent might be the best the set has to offer.

Let’s start with the card that will cause the most grief: Winter Orb. Oh, the bitter tears you’ll shed facing this bastard. Land destruction is both loathsome and unfun, but land restriction almost seems worse. You’ve got your lands right there on the table, just taunting you with their tapped-ness. Meanwhile, your opponent either has some slug slow deck intent on milling you after 35 soul-sucking turns, or a speedy aggro deck that will kick your teeth to splinters while you can’t even defend yourself. Either way, the options are grim. You can tell Winter Orb is a bad egg just by the cards it associated with, like Stasis. I think we all knew somebody with a Stasis deck – and everybody knows that Stasis players cheat as the banker in Monopoly, call ticky-tack fouls in basketball, steal signals in Madden, cut in line, and grow up to abuse their children. That’s all true. For those of you considering a Winter Orb + Seedborn Muse deck: don’t do it. The Geneva Convetions clearly state that a Winter Orb combo is permissible only so long as the second piece is so abjectly terrible and goofy that it nullifies the downright meanness of the Orb. So if you can find a combo with Orgg, by all means.

Ankh of Mishra irritates me as well – I guess I just don’t like people messing with my lands. Getting dinged for 2 when you play a land doesn’t seem sporting, but I don’t think you’ll be seeing this in any decks that intend to play past turn 6. I can always tolerate cutthroat decks, so long as they’re quick about it. It’s like death by firing squad versus death by lethal injection administered by a first year med student who’s legally blind and suffers from the shakes.

Another land-focused card that’ll give you fits is Zuran Orb. This is a powerful card – free to play and free to activate is always worth a look, and the ability can do all sorts of business for you. The multifarious uses and applications of the card have been covered in detail elsewhere (I’ll give you a synopsis: it’s good with ‘Geddon), but I imagine this card will be an enormous deterrent of alpha strikes for a long time to come. It’s also – being an artifact of 1 or 0 CMC – a cog, which enables a few tricks with Fifth Dawn cards, the most relevant of which is the Trinket Mage. This blue Gray (so… slate?) Ogre proves more and more useful to Prismatic players with each new set.

The Trinket Mage will be able to search up a few other MED artifacts, as well. Urza’s Bauble is in, which is huge for the guy who plays 4 Street Wraiths and 4 Mishra’s Bauble – at last! the 48 card deck is possible. Of course, these decks never actually seem to do anything, but what do I know. 0 mana cards are always worth a peek for Storm decks, of course.

Now Shield Sphere is a cog I can get behind. Depending on how many uses you need (this sphere’s busy – I think I saw it shooting lasers at Skywalker in Star Wars), there won’t be a creature who can kill it till at least turn 4. That kind of roadblock is great for decks that need a little time to get up to speed and can’t afford to lose great chunks of life in the meanwhile.

Last but not least among the cogs, we have Ivory Tower. It got an unfortunate bump up to rare, but it’s a control player’s best friend that can gain you more life than a Honden of Cleansing Fire, all while costing a measly 1 mana. I appreciate the symmetry of having this and The Rack online together, but I don’t think I’ll appreciate attacking into my opponent’s steadily increasing life total. Sidenote: Cursed Rack totally hoses Ivory Tower. Breathe easy, friends.

Like me, I’m sure your favorite card in the whole world is Anodet Lurker. Well I have some very interesting Anodet Lurker trivia for you: did you know that it is an homage to an earlier card, one by the name of Onulet? And did you know that Anodet Lurker anagrams to “Darker Onulet”? And you’ll love this one, it’s the most shocking tidbit of all: Onulet was originally printed as a rare. How disgusting is that? Thankfully, it’s only a common in MED, so you won’t have to open it as your rare. On the other hand, that means you’re going to be subjected to many copies of this lackluster little Grey Ogre, with its creepy face and little tongue. What kind of monster would give a face to a park bench and bid it attack his enemies?

How is Star Wars similar to Dragon Engine and Phyrexian War Beast? Both don’t age well. Both creatures, remembered fondly from their heyday, look about as bad as Mark Hamill’s haircut does today (seriously, I hadn’t seen the old Star Wars since ’98, and I caught one on Starz… yowza. Not good).

The War Beast is simply outclassed by Phyrexian Ironfoot, and that’s just within the realm of the artificial. If you want other 3/4s, hell, how about Serendib Efreet? That dude is missing half his body and he still is a better creature than the War Beast.

As for the Engine, well… I’m a sucker for pump effects (being savaged a few times in a 10th league at the hands of Looming Shade will do that to you), but 2 mana for 1 power is not so hot. The art and flavor are very slick, though – Anson Maddocks’s stuff still holds up today. Some of it, anyway. I’m also hoping they’ll have the smarts to type it a Dragon Construct. Dragon decks could use a low curve guy, right?

Copper Tablet is a bloodthirst enabler, but I never liked that keyword anyway, so I’ll pass. By the way, if you’re curious as to why a Copper Tablet might inflict bodily harm each turn, I think this is the flavor justification. Hmm… maybe I should make a Rome themed deck…

Forcefield and Thunderstaff is a slam dunk combo, much preferable than having to play Sun Droplet. I hate few things in this vale of tears more than I do Sun Droplet.

I’m pretty dense when it comes to Magic theory, but I do know that cheap things are good things. That’s why I’ve always played cost reducers whenever they were available: Familiars, Medallions, Locket of Yesterdays, they all went into my deck. Stone Calendar I’m not so sure about – unless you’re slinging around some awfully big spells, a 5 mana artifact discounter might just be too late in the game to matter.

Tribal:

This one’s really hard to speculate on, because besides a few Walls, no MED artifact creatures have creature types. They’ll all get one though, so let’s take a few stabs at classification, eh? Isn’t taxonomy the best?

• Clockwork Beast seems straightforward enough – it should be a beast.
• Dragon Engine, as I said, will hopefully be a Dragon Construct.
• Su-Chi and Cathodion seem like Golems to me.
• War Beast I’ll say is a construct, and Onulet… well, who cares what Onulet is.

Prismatic:

• Yes, another Wish! Ring of Ma’ruf is hard to type, but I’ll forgive it because I love Wish effects. This one is costly and slow, and you’ll waste a draw getting the card you want, but I predict this card is going to be dirt cheap and I’ll be happy to have it.
• Zuran Orb will see plenty of play.
• Ditto the Disk. Why, you ask? I dunno man, they’re good cards. What do you want from me?

Rainbow Stairwell:

1 Mana: I’d rather have SDT over Ivory Tower in this slot.

2 Mana: I’ve got Candles of Leng in this slot, and love it every time I draw it.

3 Mana: Forcefield’s going to bump out the Gnomes for me in this spot, and I don’t even feel that guilty about it.

4 Mana: Nev’s Disk. Again, it’s just good… but is it Etched Oracle good?

5 Mana: Nope.

6 Mana: Nothing much. Mirror Universe could punk somebody, but what was with all these “use only during your upkeep” clauses?

Highlight: Nevinyrral’s Disk, no question. At last, an answer to the Mono Black mage’s favorite question: “Uh… what do I do about enchantments?” Sweepers are a great thing, and sweepers that can go in any deck are even better. I’m particularly high on this card because Magus of the Disk is a sensationally underrated card, and the original can’t be touched by creature kill. Hopefully these aren’t going for 5 tickets.

Lowlight: Su-Chi. This is a low blow, Wollpert. First off, you’re making this 4/4 for 4 a rare? Sure, the stats are nice, but you had better pray your opponent doesn’t have removal or that you’ve got some kind of mana sink, otherwise you might as well just tap four lands and take the manaburn. 4/4s for 4 get you cards like Ravenous Baloth, Ghost Council of Orzhova – not a giant liability. I’d be all for this card if it were an uncommon – hell, there’s fun acceleration possibilities with Spawning Pit – but the gold rarity really sticks in my craw.

Master’s Edition Set Review: Green

Green

20% of Magic players say their favorite card is green. That’s official data right there. I’m certainly one of that number – or at least I was back when I remembered what a freshly cracked pack smelled like. My first real memory of buying packs was Ice Age, and cards like Gargantuan Gorilla and Scaled Wurm simply epitomized the allure of Magic for me. The depth of the game, the elegance of its design – all that didn’t mean a hell of a lot when I was drooling over these massive critters.

So it was with some trepidation I turned my eyes to the green portion of the MED spoiler. Let’s see if the long-suffering nature mages have something to cheer about.

(A brief pause, wherein we both scan the spoiler)

…

Nope.

Wollpert, where is Regrowth? The card’s restricted in Vintage, but c’mon. We’ve got the Eternal Witness, don’t hold out on us – give us the real deal. You say you’re putting Demonic Tutor (another restricted card) into MED2; all I can say is Regrowth had best be in there.

Enough carping about the notably absent, let’s talk about what is in.

Berserk made it, and thank god for small miracles. I’m thrilled at the opportunity to play with it, because Fatal Frenzy has been winning me game after game lately, and Berserk costs 1/3rd the mana, plus it has the additional utility of killing enemy creatures so long as you’re willing to endure some extra damage. It is of course typical of Wizards to print this – a card I was certain was rare – as an uncommon, while FoW gets the gold treatment.

Most of MED’s green cards are analogues to cards already online. This is disappointing because one of the draws of Master’s Edition is that is provides us access to the pre-Mirage color pie, which was gloriously demented. There’s a whole bevy of unique effects printed in colors that would otherwise never get them simply because the flavor makes sense; so when we’re handed a bunch of cards we’ve already got, you have to see this as a missed opportunity. It’s kind of like a bizarro world Planar Chaos – where PLC gave us awesome colorshifted cards (Damnation, Calciderm), MED Green is giving us disgusting colorshifts of cards nobody wants, no matter their color.

Exhibit A: A Ghost Warden masquerading as something called “Wyluli Wolf”. This card’s name is of course an anagram for Rich Garfield’s wife, Yowl Filluw. Thankfully, she took his name. But I am reasonably pumped about this card’s inclusion, even though it features art by the always abysmal Susan Van Camp. Go ahead, take a look at her artwork – all of it features a closeup of the character in the background. What an horrible trademark, even worse than Wayne England’s “Every creature must have its tongue out like MJ”. It’s simply awful. Take a look at Elvish Bard or Veldrane of Sengir if your retinas are feeling particularly strong today. But art aside, there’s a G/W wolf deck brewing that will be capped off nicely by this Wren’s Run Packmaster.

Wow! It’s Stone Rain’s green brother, Ice Storm! The streak of non-unique effects rolls on. A nice card to have, but really, what can you say about Stone Rain? So let’s move on to the next analogue.

Which would be Storm Seeker, the green version of Sudden Impact. I chanted every turn to top deck this back in the day, because our mana bases were so spotty everybody a bunch of cards stranded in hand, so this card was a guaranteed 7 to the face. And since the thought of damaging myself with a Hurricane was anathema, Storm Seeker was the reach a lot of my green decks needed. It’d be nice to drill some guy in Prismatic with this right after he used his Myojin of the Draw 1000 cards, but that’s unlikely, even by my standards.

Next: Roots, a disgusting Dehydration. I’ve seen better art smeared on asylum walls, and I can tell you right now those “pieces” weren’t made with oils.

…Moving right along to Thicket Basilisk, the original gorgon and one half of the oldest of old school combos. If you don’t want to suit this guy up with a Lure, get yourself checked out by the doctor: you might be a Blue player.

Our final analogue of the evening is Fyndhorn Elves, only noteworthy for having less regrettable hair than their Llanowar brethren. It should be said that you could play this, Llanowar, BoP, and Elves of Deep Shadow to really ensure that Turn 2 three mana scenario.

You could use this 3 mana on turn 2 to power out the mighty Chub Toad. Perhaps the only amphibian who follows the way of the warrior, I will march on Renton if this samurai frog doesn’t get Bushido 2.

Tornado is really cool, and is the kind of card that would never be printed today. Two different kinds of counters on one card, one of which is exclusive to Tornado, alongside a nifty usage of cumulative upkeep: I love it all. I also dig the related effects between this and Desert Twister – Green’s dominion over nature’s wrath was a huge draw for me. Wish we’d seen Tsunami, seeing as most of the other natural disasters are on MTGO.

Sylvan Library, for all the love it gets, isn’t all that much better than Sensei’s Divining Top. I hope it gets played over SDT, though, cause I would love to not sit for two minutes at the end of each turn while the other guy sorts and re-sorts his top three. The combo with Abundance is so well-known I’m not even sure I want to play it. Frankly, just having Abundance out there feels like you’re cheating; if you haven’t had the pleasure, let me tell you that never top-decking a land is like ambrosia.

Prismatic:

• Nature’s Lore. Yeah, it’s boring, but it still gets you a shockland.
• Sylvan Library will be welcomed with open arms, and can smooth out ungainly draws.
• Primal Order joins the ever-growing suite of nonbasic hate. Perhaps this can tide you over while you wait for Ruination.

Tribal:

• I mentioned a Yeti deck in the red portion of this review. It occurs to me, looking at Strider (and its homage, Karplusan Strider), that he’s going to be a yeti, a yeti with an activated ability both red and green. So there you have it – you can make a solid RG Yeti deck, with the flavorful bonus of having Karplusan Forest serve as manafixer and yeti hangout.
• The Basilisk tribe has one ugly mana curve, and the Thicket Basilisk won’t help that. He will, however, boot the Rock Basilisk from the rotation and allow you to play green exclusively.
• Spectral Bears realizes the dream of assembling a Bear Tribal Deck. A good deck name for this just occurred to me, so you can depend on me building one. One must assume such a deck will go undefeated, for they are godless killing machines, cunning as they are savage.

Rainbow Stairwell

1 Mana: Birds of Paradise is almost a prerequisite for this format, and the little bird simply does too many good things for Berserk to unseat it.

2 Mana: Sylvan Library might do the trick for you; but again, I’ve never actually had the chance to play with it, so I might overestimate its effect.

3 Mana: No. Absolutely nothing.

4 Mana: Neutralizing a huge attacker bearing down on you is a nice effect, one which Singing Tree can provide. I respect the ability even more because Vhati il-Dal has been a workhorse in some of my decks – unfortunately, the Tree can’t match up to Vhati.

5 Mana: Nope.

6 Mana: I hear tell that Autumn Willow was an absolute hoss back in her day, beasting people left and right even though she appears to be dressed in diaphanous little chemise. I think I’ll stick with Quagnoth,

Highlight: Berserk. Any time you get to double something, you’re close to degeneracy. Though Doublemint Gum never struck me as particularly broken…

Lowlight: Wanderlust, you disgust me. A 20 turn clock? Take that bush league nonsense back to 5th Edition. I want no part of it.

Master’s Edition Set Review: Red

Red

This is a terrific synopsis of classic red, with all the right creatures and spells being highlighted. Of course you had to have Bolt, but Ball Lightning, Mana Flare, Stone Giant, and Brothers of Fire were all nice inclusions.

One MTGO game that still sticks with me today was my duel with doctor_jay (or something close to it). I was running a pretty standard deck, nothing too exciting, but the good doctor had all kinds of clever interactions orbiting around this central idea of stealing everything I owned. He’d Threaten a creature, then stash it away in a Synod Sanctum, or maybe steal and fling my fattie with Grab the Reins. Then he would bust open the sanctum, and all of my minions would come pouring out ready to do battle against me, their creator – as if a brief stay in a Motel 6 makes you turn against your parents. Anyway, there was quite the audience on hand to watch this drubbing, which I was pretty embarrassed by. Was this one of the situations where your opponents is excitedly PMing friends, saying, “Oh man, you gotta see this! He’s got no chance!”?

Of course doctor_jay turned out to be none other than Jay Moldenhauer-Salazar. That game taught me two things: that a deck with a casual concept can still be tuned and effective, and also that stealing is a good and profitable thing to do. Well, Stone Giant is in the set, and while he can only chuck 2 power or less creatures, he’s still one of the greatest instances of top-down design in MTG history.

Marton Stromgald, aside from being impossible to search for in Gatherer, is impossible to keep alive in combat. His effect is powerful enough to warrant some deckbuilding accomodations him, however. The best I’ve seen to do that would be the General’s Kabuto. I think Bigfoot’s been spotted more than this little seen Kamigawa rare. With the helmet on, Stromgald can attack with impunity and get all your other guys psyched up. Tenza, Godo’s Maul can also make the warlord a little more robust.

Keldon Warlord looks good to me. Red has no shortage of ways to pump out tokens to pump this musclebound freak up. To wit: Siege-Gange Commander, Mogg War Marshal, Empty the Warrens, and a personal favorite in Rally the Horde. I’m sure you’ve already recognized the synergy between Keldon Warlord and Marton Stromgald – let me just reinforce that. Say you’ve got 4 creatures out, two of them the aforementioned, two of them 1/1 dorks. You’d be swinging with 14 power. Not bad, and it only gets better from there.

Fissure, despite being worse than Wrecking Ball in any deck that can support a couple swamps, provides Mono-Red decks with an essential ability: taking out a big creature without a huge blaze. Once an enemy creature gets to about 5 toughness, a red deck will have a hell of a time taking it out. Fissure takes care of that nicely, and the land destruction will also prove relevant occasionally.

I like Winds of Change, just for its synergy with Plagiarize, but it’s a pale shadow of Wheel of Fortune. But we’re MTGOers after all, and must make do with whatever scraps we get.

Now Varchild’s War-Riders is as Johnny as they come. This card’s been involved in so many different combos I can’t even keep them all straight. There are a surprising number of times you want to give your opponent creatures; it will be a snap to get an Avatar of Might out with Varchild’s guys War Riding about the place. Also, a lure effect on this cat would be huge. And you know what? He doesn’t die to Lightning Bolt!

Yes, the Bolt is back, and I’m thrilled. Mountain, tap, Bolt you is about as classic a play there is, and I’m excited to see how this hyper-efficient burner changes deck construction. Will Wildfire Emissary see play, like it used to, just by virtue of being immune to STP and Lightning Bolt? Okay, I can answer that one: probably not. But still, it’ll be great to have this – and at least it’s common.

But zapping somebody for 3 isn’t quite as satisfying as blowing up the world, which Jokulhaups promises to do. I’m glad ‘Haups made it in – back in those heady days when we thought this set was going to be full to bursting with power, I figured I’d snag some of these for fifty cents a pop. Now that’s looking less likely, but I’d be thrilled to finally have some mass removal – it’s hard to come by for a guy like me. The Haups also gives me a reason to play these godawful Molten Firebirds; you hear about how Haups+Ivory Gargoyle was an awesome combo, but I just can’t picture it. I’ll be happy to give it a go once MED drops, though – and hey, a couple Bolts, a Fireblast or two, and then an empty board except your flying 2/2 wouldn’t be too shabby.

Formats!

Tribal:

• Ball Lightning will be an Elemental, which is such a large tribe at this point I don’t even know what direction to take with it. I think somebody ought to put together a deck with both Groundbreaker and Ball Lightning, maybe with a certain 1 mana Instant I’m outrageously psyched about…
• Dwarven Soldier’s in there, and god would I love it if his ability were ever relevant. Unfortunately, the Orcs never quite took off, being outstripped by those piddling Goblins. By the way, an Orc Tribal deck would be quite interesting. Anyway, back to Dwarves. If you’ve got plenty of Odyssey, you could probably slap this one together. They’ve got no real lord, but they do have a Goblin Recruiter equivalent, which is… something? Honestly, I’m yawning. Next.
• Ydwen Efreet is in here, looking awfully shabby next to his compatriots Serendib and Ifh-Biff. Aside from being unpronouncable, Ydwen is also unplayable – as printed, anyways. A 3/6 that only blocks half the time is not a guy you want to spend 3 mana on. Now if you had a Mannichi out there, suddenly you’ve got a 6/3 who attacks 100% of the time, which isn’t so bad. I think I would have preferred Mijae Djinn. Again, I can’t stress this enough – pack some kind of hate for the inevitable Suleiman’s Legacies you’ll encounter.
• Granite Gargoyle’s in there, and aside from being perhaps the most White red creature ever, you can’t do much with him. There is a Gargoyle deck to be made, but you’d have to look awfully hard – they share no common mechanics, and there’s not even a thread to connect them. Though Graven Dominator is best friends with Pyroclasm, so why not invite the Granite Gargoyle?
• Goblin Wizard comes from a time when Flavor’s job was too easy. Say you’re Skaff Elias (or whoever the hell developed The Dark), and you’re naming cards. “Hey, we need a name for this 2RR.” “What’s he do?” “Pings and puts Goblins into play.” “Goblin Wizard. Next! God, I’m good at this.” Do you think Dommermuth and the other creative guys are pissed at how all the easy names got cherry picked? They’re out here coming up with stuff like Wren’s Run Packmaster – I think they just picked three random words from the dictionary for that one. Anyway, the Goblin cards are bleh, and the Chirurgeon in particular is blegh. Watch out if you play a Goblin of the Flarg against my Dwarf deck, though.
• We get another Kobold, and you can’t even make a Tribal deck with these guys yet. Wait till next year, Kobold lovers.
• Interesting to see where they go with Spinal Villain – if it’s an insect, it would actually enable a Mono Red Insect deck. Can you believe that? Clickslither, Barbed Shocker, Duct Crawler, and Giant Solifuge.
• Mountain Yeti, a serviceable Hill Giant with a pair of abilities, could slot into a Yeti deck and let you drop that stupid Drelnoch you’ve been shoehorning in there.

Prismatic:

• Bolt and Pyroblast are two cards you’ll be thrilled to have. Countering a blue spell with a single Mountain will be HUGE in Prismatic, and there’s no end of targets for a well-timed Lightning Bolt.
• Mana Flare could be the poor man’s Mirari’s Wake, or just the red-headed brother of Heartbeat of Spring. Of course you can’t lay that thing down without having some absolutely filthy cards to follow it up, because you know your opponent will take the opportunity to cast Time Stretch or some such nonsense on you.
• Spinal Villain might be nice to deep six some Trinket Mages, but I don’t see many blue creatures.
• Balduvian Horde is a tough sell. Losing a card at random could scuttle all your late game plans, but a 5/5 as early as turn 3 with acceleration is saucy. The double red does you no favors, unless you’ve got a deck aimed at optimizing Arc Slogger (which, in case you didn’t know, costs next to nothing and is a golden god in big deck).
• Haups gets thrown in there just because you throw in all your mass removal – resets are so key in a format where the game can quickly spiral out of hand and suddenly you’re looking at a flock of angels or worse. Just make sure you back your play with a Pyroblast.

Rainbow Stairwell:

1 Mana: Please, take this seat, Lightning Bolt. Magus of the Scroll was just keeping it warm for you.

2 Mana: Incinerate does not bow to War-Riders or Dwarves.

3 Mana: Carbonize doesn’t bow, neither.

4 Mana: I dunno about you, but I’m too attached to my Bomb Squad to give them up for anything.

5 Mana: I’ve got Ganthan Raiders masquerading as my five drop when really it’s just a nice early beater. I’ll probably give Fissure a test run though, because I love versatility in my removal.

6 Mana: Jokulhaups makes a strong claim, but Mindblaze is essentially a guaranteed 8 damage in any Singleton format. If you’ve never played it, I urge you to run it – all you gotta do is name Sakura-Tribe Elder and you’re golden.

Highlight: Spinal Villain. I love this guy – the flavor and powerful tap ability (with no activation cost) all make for a great package.

Lowlight: Artifact Blast. Annul’s weaker brother. Which is just sad – that’s like being Lindsay Lohan’s sluttier sister. Hard to accomplish, you know?

Master’s Edition Set Review: Black

Let’s get right to it.

Black

Black got a great complement of cards in MED. The rares are solid; I’m not crazy about Contagion being rare, but it certainly is some fine removal, seeing as it’s free of targeting restrictions. But Contagion’s only the first among equals: Pox, Chains of Read This Card Three Times Over, and Hecatomb, that’s right Hecatomb, all seem good. Chains of Mephistopheles I’m going to take on faith as good, because lots of old school tournament players know and love it, and doesn’t that card just strike you as sinister? All that densely packed text, the complicated replacement effects, the horrible prospect of multiples in play – it’s all very menacing.

Pox and Hecatomb I’m going to cite precedent on – I never thought Pox was a great card. Big symmetrical effects aren’t usually the casual player’s friend, so losing a third of your resources might seem sub-optimal. But if you’ve been on the receiving end of a Smallpox while your opponent has no creatures, a Flagstones on the board, and a madness card in hand, you know all symmetry can be broken. Pox gives you way more pop for only one more black mana. I’m hoping we get the IA version, painted by a dude named Cornelius Brudi. It’s like they commissioned this guy and didn’t even tell him it’s a fantasy game – all his pieces are so restrained and lifelike… he’s Magic’s Rembrandt.

And yes, I’m going to say I’d be happy with a Hecatomb. I’ve been playing Sengir Autocrat/Endrek Sahr an obscene amount in my Sekkuar EDH deck, so I don’t even blink at sacrificing four creatures. And having felt the sting of a Flame Fusiliade, I can tell you that lands that tap for damage are not anywhere you’d want to vacation, if you see what I’m saying.

Speaking of Endrek Sahr, he’d certainly be pleased with MED. The thrulls own a portion of MED black, and I think I’m okay with that. Breeding Pit does nothing for me – I have signed an exclusive deal with Kher Keep for my once-a-turn 0/1 token (Nuisance Engine simply couldn’t raise the funds to match their offer), so I shall leave the more expensive Pit to Thrull Fanatics. Which might be the name of a Norwegian death metal band. But Mindstab Thrull is respectable. Say you name Thrulls with Cover of Darkness – that opponent’s hand is not long for this world.

But let’s imagine another thrull scenario. Like most of my scenarios when evaluating cards, its a best case scenario. This, by the way, seems to be the dividing line between Spikes and the rest. Spikes will imagine the grimmest, most unwinnable board position, and if a prospective card can save them, it’s good. Johnnies think about how overpowering a Ben-Ben, Akki Hermit could be, provided you’ve got untapped mountains, a Nettling Curse and, since we’re talking about Ben-Ben, an opponent with a sub-40 IQ. But like I was saying, best case scenario: you drop a few thrulls in the early turns, and a Bad Moon to boot. Turn 5 comes, you drop Endrek Sahr. At this point you start drumming the desk, praying no removal comes flying at your breeder. After all, it’s a real drag when your guy is just about to summon up a gaggle of abominations when he bites it. Assuming you get to turn 6 with Sahr intact, you pretty much win. Tap five swamps and cast Thrull Champion; suddenly you’ve got 6 3/3 Thrulls ready to do work. Now you might posit any number of potential roadblocks, but this is a best case scenario, you jerk.

Black’s uncommons also get all the girls and kick sand in the face of everyone else’s uncommons. Hymn to Tourach, Black Knight, Animate Dead, and Derelor is a nice suite of silver. Hymn and Animate Dead are both going to cause some rage blackouts, the former just cause it’s a discard spell, and the latter because some ace is going to put together a Worldgorger Dragon deck and rampage through the casual room. I beg of you: don’t be that guy.

As for the commons, you’ve got your pump knight (who’s actually a cleric…), some classic removal in Paralyze, and Oubliette, which might just be worth your time.

Any format impacts?

Tribal

• Derelor’s a thrull. What? How’d that happen? I understand that “Affront To Both God and Man” might be tough to fit on the creature type line, but I don’t see how a half wildebeest half toad man qualifies as a thrull.
• I’m not sure how they’ll align Erg Raiders. Warriors seem likely, but Rebel, Mercenary, or Rogue are also possible.
• Cuombajj Witches will end up a Wizard, if Thoughtpicker Witch is any indication. That’s a shame, because I think witches are sufficiently different from Magic’s wizards to make that distinction. Witches would be a great tribe – you could have all kind of curses, hexes, transformations, and maybe some sweet broomstick equipment. By the way, a Witch Hunter will die to a Cuombajj Witch – guess that broad isn’t so good at her job.
• Khabal Ghoul will go the way of the zombie, which means it no longer interests me. And if you’re ever furious because you opened a Khabal Ghoul, I present my solution to everything: Endrek Sahr. And a Grave Pact. And some kinda sac outlet. See? Easy to make him work.
• There are enough awesome Black knights to make a Mono B deck, with Haakon anchoring the lineup.
• Is Juzam Djinn going to stay a djinn? If he’s going demonic, he’s in my Shrek deck (Ogres/Demons Tribal) the second I open him. If he stays Djinn, you could cobble together a Djinn Deck with Aku, Benthic, Goham, and maybe fat Moti.

Prismatic

• I’m going to play Hymn in my black-skewed Prismatic deck, but I’m not sure most people can hit BB with any regularity on turn 2. Expect to see a lot of it regardless.
• Chains of Mephistopheles should be a beast, because card draw is essential in Prismatic, and a Concentrate is a whole lot less appealing when you’re just filtering instead of refueling.

Rainbow Stairwell

1 Mana: The black in my Rainbow Stairwell are my weakest cards by far. Right now I’ve got Midnight Charm in the one spot – apparently I wasn’t speaking to Funeral Charm when I put this deck together. We’ve patched things up since then, you’ll be happy to hear. And you probably won’t want to play Thrull Retainer. Though if you did, I’d respect you just on the grounds of chutzpah.

2 Mana: Alright, here comes the chorus. Sing along, I know you know it: Hymn to Tourach might be played. I won’t bother, I think, because my Ravenous Rats aren’t so high maintenence and they give me a body as well.

3 Mana: Nothing doing.

4 Mana: Inexplicably, I have Razorjaw Oni in this spot. I say inexplicably because I’ve got at least 5 black creatures in the deck, which isn’t a great way to break symmetry. Derelor doesn’t get this spot, though, because I can’t go tagging an extra B onto everything. I think I’ll give Juzam some burn, because isn’t there something decadent about using a 100$ (paper) card in your RS deck?

5 Mana: I bet you can guess who I’ve got for the 5 mana black spot. Yep, it’s Endrek. Again. We’ve just got a bond. Contagion is enticing, but I’m leery of double black in a format unkind to manafixing.

6 Mana: No six mana black cards in MED. Twisted Abomination breaths a sigh of relief. By the way, where the hell is regular Abomination? I like that guy.

Highlight: Lot to choose from, but I’ll go with Contagian. Nonstandard counters are interesting, and neutering two creatures for a card and a life sounds good to me.

Lowlight: Eater of the Dead. Great name and top down design, but uninspiring stats ruin this card for me. A guy named Eater of the Dead should be intimidating.

Master’s Edition Set Review: Blue

With the advent of MED, online casual classic is about to receive a serious shot in the arm. MTGO has always been an interpretation of Magic without a past nor recorded history – hell, IPA cards are from a foggy, primeval time not many of us were around to witness (just look at the card prices). But some of us have ties to Magic running back a decade and more, myself being one of them, and for us, Master’s Edition is the best kind of atavism. With the spoiler finally in our hands, let’s take a look at what Wollpert and co. unearthed from Magic’s infancy. Color by color, of course, since I’m not a man to break with tradition.

Blue

Blue’s got an interesting crop of cards in MED, one representative of what Blue used to be all about: fishpeople, counters, bounce, flying, general weirdness, and the odd massive creature. Representative to a point, however – there’s one omission from Blue’s part of the pie. Of course, this omission would be stupid powerful cards, but it’s one I’m okay with.

The biggest issue is, of course, Force of Will. Master’s Edition can be seen as a 168 card excuse to reprint Force of Will, Lightning Bolt, and the duals. WoTC being WotC, they only managed 2/3rds of that, but one comes to expect these kinds of gaffes after dealing with the company for a few years. Expected or not, I still can’t wrap my head around why they printed Force as a rare. Dangerlinto’s been saying, “Buying Force of Will 32” – he’s absolutely right. Even had it been an uncommon, we would have been looking at 8-10 tickets; now the cost will be simply prohibitive. Financially speaking, Wizards can afford to ignore the CQ guys – the number of people interested in tournament level classic is paltry at best. But from a community standpoint, you really can’t afford to alienate them. They’re doing their damndest to keep an MTGO unique format alive, and MED was a golden opportunity to help them out. Wollpert should have thrown them a bone, not only with FoW’s rarity but with some of the other rare selections.

Casual players like power just as much as the tournament players, we just don’t go out of our way to acquire it or feel that it’s necessary for us to compete. So if they’d put in some serious juice, exactly who would have been upset? Printing FoW at rare smacks of greed.

FoW aside, MED Blue is an eclectic group of cards, some of which I’d never even heard of. A few of these would be Psychic Purge, Telekinesis, Word of Undoing, and Mystic Remora. MED blue also has a few cards that I hate and don’t want to play with at all. A few of these would be Psychic Purge, Telekinesis, Word of Undoing, and Mystic Remora. I’m not being entirely fair to the Remora – if you’ve got a Heartwood Storyteller deck, I’m sure that little symbiote would fit right in. On the other hand, another name for a Remora is the Suckfish. Suckfish.dec, here I come.

Amnesia is giving Seraph a serious run for “Most Heinous Art”. I mean, what’s even going on with this thing? It seems that you have an older gentleman enjoying some light acupuncture when some wizard drove his fist through his skull. Dick move, skull-puncher. Not only that, but the background is an interesting shade that Sherwin Williams might term “Fluorescent Puke”. Then all this artistic horror is compounded by the fact that the card doesn’t compare that favorably to Wit’s End. Wit’s End.

MED Blue has a few cards that go great in combo decks… that don’t yet exist on MTGO. Both High Tide and Illusions of Grandeur are key cards in their respective decks, but without their buddies, these guys look awful stupid standing around enabling precisely nothing. Though you can absolutely Trickbind Grandeur’s life loss ability. Also, you can hope your opponent’s playing enchantments and Confusion in the Ranks it over to his side of the board. It might also be possible, using stack tricks and 10 mana, to give them Grandeur with an Avarice Totem. All of these tricks seem slightly underpowered compared to the terrible efficacy of Trix, though.

Wollpert did hit some of the notes he had to hit, here: Vesuvan Doppelganger, Serendib Efreet, and Hydroblast were all auto-includes. I’ll be happy to play with all these; it’s amazing how efficient old-school hosers were. Hydroblast also begs to be included in any Shifting Sky type of deck.

I’m also surprised to see Giant Tortoise – it’s really a terrible creature, but there was a period of a few months where, if I put in a few islands, a Giant Tortoise would be sure to follow.

In the card advantage conscious world of today, Arcane Denial has been tailed by an albatross, some whispering analyst reminding it that it’s useless like Vex. To this I only say: Plagiarize. I’m having a love affair with Plagiarize, and expect a fuller treatment of the wonders of that card at a later date.

Moving on to Type What? formats:

Tribal:

• As we expected, Merfolk have a contingent in MED. Personally, I never saw the draw of Merfolk – the outrage at their phasing out and rejoicing at their return all seemed pretty disproportionate to me. Let’s face it – these guys are blue-skinned goblins. They do have some varied and interesting abilities though, and I’ve recently acquired some Lords of Atlantis in anticipation of Lorwyn (and you should do the same), so I can definitely see myself playing a Sea Singer, Sea’s Claiming some dude’s land, and stealing his creatures. This would also allow me to play Fishliver Oil, which can occasionally ruin and embarrass your opponent simultaneously.* As a sidenote, I’ve always loved top down design, but the “sac this if you control no Islands” is ridiculous. Did Richard Garfield think that somebody was going to use a Black Lotus to splash Vodalian Knights?
• It seems likely Vesuvan Doppelganger will join the Shapeshifter tribe, which probably has more members than you’re expecting. With 18 in all, you’ve got options if you’re building a shapeshifter deck. Of course you’d include Clone, Vesuvan Shapeshifter, and the oh-yeah-that-is-a-shapeshifter Morphling (assuming you can find one), then round it out with Duplicant. Well, that’s what you’d do if you had a budget. I’d probably do something with Riptide Shapeshifter and a toolbox.
• And the Polar Kraken might be in that toolbox. Back in the day my friends and I would fog up the glass in the cardshop staring at Leviathan. Of course we never could afford it, it being something exorbitantly pricey (maybe 3 dollars), but man, did we want it. Scaled Wurm couldn’t even kill the thing! Imagine our surprise when we saw the Polar Kraken – our previous idol, with its disturbing resemblance to a sperm, got dropped in a hurry. Even today, I like Polar Kraken for a few reasons. His creature type is unique, so if you pop a Shapeshifter and name “Kraken,” you’re gonna get him.** Then he’s got some big numbers, both in casting cost and P/T. I’ve been tinkering with a deck focused on Pandemonium, Riddle of Lightning, and Leviathan, dreaming in vain about cheating a Leviathan into play and then flinging him for the win.
• The Faerie were recently legitimized when Wizards printed them a lord. Judging from Lorwyn spoilers, they’re going to get a whole lot more legit. With 14 members, they’ve actually got some good ones. Scryb Ranger has only seen play as adjunct to Spectral Force, but that still counts, damnit. The rest of the bunch puts you well on your way to a Blue Skies deck, featuring monstrous Wee Dragonauts.
• Serendib Efreet is the best Efreet ever printed, but it’s simply too risky to run that deck with Suleiman’s Legacy around.

Rainbow Stairwell:

1 Mana: Much like Swords to Plowshares, Brainstorm absolutely owns this slot, and nothing here can usurp it.

2 Mana: I’ve got Remand in here, but honestly I’ve never cast it cause I just feel bad.

3 Mana: Nothing thrilling in here, but I should mention how hopelessly weak Time Elemental is these days. Compare it to Temporal Adept and shake your head at how naive we were.

4 Mana: I have Binding Grasp in this spot, and I swear by it. It simply does work every time I draw it, so I’m loath to swap it out for anything. MED does offer you a flying hill giant (Phantom Monster), a ‘roided flying Hill Giant (Illusionary Forces), a way to steal your opponent’s Hill Giant (Juxtapose), and a card that has nothing to do with Hill Giants (Diminishing Returns). Ah, what do you care – you’re playing Gifts Ungiven anyway.

5 Mana: Yeah, some people might say Force of Will is the no-brainer add here. But if I open a FoW, I’m going to sell that thing faster than an auctioneer and use the profits to buy lots of 25 cent rares. Might give the Doppelganger a run.

6 Mana: Amnesia. PASS.

Prismatic:

Just like with White, there’s no tutors here. That’s a little surprising, considering Blue’s long history of being able to find whatever it damn well pleases whenever it damn well pleases.

Juxtapose and Serendib Efreet should certainly be able to crack your rotation. I’m an advocate of Juxtapose because the threats in Prismatic get very threatening, and if you’ve got an underpowered deck, there’s a lot of satisfaction to be had in swapping a Bomb Squad for an Akroma. I imagine it’s similarly satisfying to trade a signet for a Platnium Angel. Serendib belongs just because he’s crazy efficient and whatnot.

Highlight: Homarid Spawning Bed. It’s got the allure of being wildly out of pie, all while increasing your creature’s utility. I’ve played a lot of decks featuring Spawning Pool, and the Bed shames it. Combo this with Sunken City, and you suddenly have a Mono U Aggro. Which sounds like a virulent strain of the kissing disease.

Lowlight: Word of Undoing. I have the feeling there’s a deck waiting to be built here, one that uses Faith’s Fetters, Drake Familiar, and Word of Undoing, but I’ll be damned if I’m the man to build it. There’s no upside to this card.

*I know that’s hard to swallow. But I swear to you I’ve cast Three Dreams for a Fetters, a Pump Enchantment, and a Fishliver Oil, and won on the back of that Oil. In Prismatic.

**I’ll say this right now: if anybody types “Summon… the KRAKEN” while playing this card, I will find you through the internet and break your fingers.

Master’s Edition Set Review: White

With the advent of MED, online casual classic is about to receive a serious shot in the arm. MTGO has always been an interpretation of Magic without a past nor recorded history – hell, IPA cards are from a foggy, primeval time not many of us were around to witness (just look at the card prices). But some of us have ties to Magic running back a decade and more, myself being one of them, and for us, Master’s Edition is the best kind of atavism. With the spoiler finally in our hands, let’s take a look at what Wollpert and co. unearthed from Magic’s infancy. Color by color, of course, since I’m not a man to break with tradition.

White

In a lot of ways, White’s the big winner of MED. It’s got some of the best rares (Moat, Armageddon, Crusade), the best common (Exile), and the best proof that the Heavenly Host gets their hair cut at SuperCuts (Seraph). Let us all pray that D. Alexander Gregory’s Fashion Casualty version is used in favor of Christopher Rush’s Girlfriend at the Time Who Wanted to Be on a Card. I wonder if the Benalish Hero and Seraph are dating…

But even better than forbidden lesbian love are White’s creatures. Not only does White get the Order of Leitbur; Thunder Spirit; and a plainswalker, Righteous Avengers (I guess they can keep the Graceful Antelope company?); but it also gets a bunch of banding creatures. And while I took one look at Banding’s description in the comp rules back in ’95 and figured I’d wait till I got a driver’s license to take another shot at understanding it, it’s actually a potent ability that will allow you to dominate the combat step.

Master’s Edition pays homage to another of White’s favorite activities, besides tactical supremacy: hosing Black. Mind you, I’m only talking about Magic colors here and nothing else, but can I just point out the racism of 10th Edition’s Unholy and Holy Strength card arts? I mean, what the hell, Terese Nielsen?

But I’m talking about hosers: white’s got ’em. This is particularly important because per capita more swamps are getting tapped on MTGO than any other land. If you’ve never made this observation, trying playing a deck with playsets of Terror and Dark Banishing – not being able target a goddamn thing for games on end should get the point across. Angry Mobs (still not talking about anything but Magic colors here…) are going to be quite large. And hey, I can guarantee you your Mob will never lose a fight to a Nightmare, provided you’re attacking. Korlash won’t be as impressed, but it’s still two damage.

If you’re still the kind of guy who’s sideboard would more aptly be described as a COPBoard, good news: Greater Realm of Preservation will open up room for your Alabaster Potions. Yes, for twice the activation cost you get twice the protection. Of course, this begs the question: why aren’t you playing Forcefield?

I’m ambivalent about Armageddon’s inclusion. On the one hand, land destruction is one of the more agonizing ways to lose a game, especially considering how often I’m manascrewed to begin with even before the Stones start to Rain; but on the other… it’s Armageddon, man. I’m old school enough that I couldn’t even resent you for wrecking me with ‘Geddon. It’s funny how nostalgia works – if the memory’s old enough, even the unpleasant stuff seems charming in hindsight. It should also be noted that the once proud Ernham Djinn is plying street corners, selling his services for a measly 20 cents.

White isn’t all goodness, though. I don’t know anything about Icatia, but judging from their Lieutenants and Priests, these guys must not have won many battles; all their abilities are embarrassingly weak. Even their Javelineers only saw fit to bring the one javelin to a fight. Never heard of bringing spares, guys? Hell, their Citizens seem more martial then all the armed forces together.

Animate Wall is in here, and can I just say that I’m not loving this Wall theme in MED? I know The Wall deck is the first thing you build if you’re a casual player, but aside from Sunweb, there isn’t a wall on MTGO I’d want to swing with. Animating an Illusionary Wall is cute, but when you think that two card slots were used up to enable that particular combo, at the expense of so many other great cards, you have to cringe a bit.*

Now how will White impact the Type What formats?

Rainbow Stairwell: I don’t see much doing here. It takes a hell of a spell to supplant STP in the one mana slot, and Death Ward ain’t that. At the two spot, Order of Leitbur and Crusade are both great cards, but only thrive in a mono-white concoction. Exile at three is intriguing, and will probably get the nod in my deck over Griffin Guide. Faith’s Fetters has a mortal lock on the 4 slot, though Moat might be worth your time. Petra Sphinx and Righteous Avengers aren’t anything special. I’ve always thought of White’s six mana slot as famously weak in RS. Turns out it was just my collection: Yosei, Exalted Angel, Final Judgment, Pristine Angel, Akroma’s Vengeance, among others, all live there. Icatian Town, as much as I like it, probably can’t outmatch any of those guys.

Prismatic: Whenever I peruse a new set for Prismatic gems, I first look for tutors. Anything that says “search your deck” has the potential to be great in big deck. MED White has none of these. Aside from the oft-mentioned Exile, most of the cards here require heavy white commitment, something I don’t like to do in my Prismatic decks. Hand of Justice would be an absolute menace, assuming you can rustle up two other white creatures, but I rarely can. Pass.

Tribal: Pegasi almost became legal in MED, thanks to the Mesa Pegasus. Unfortunately, that leaves the flying horses still one shy of an invitation to the dance (except Mistform Ultimus blah blah). Most of the humanoids will probably receive creature type reassignment (sounds like the name of a episode of Oprah); I’m sure Death Speakers will become Clerics.

• Knights of Thorn will join the recently ascendant Knight tribe, who frankly don’t need the help. At some point I’ll build a Camelot Knight Tribal Deck, and these guys might get a spot.
• Petra Sphinx deserves some credit for elbowing aside the deplorable Belltower Sphinx in a tribal deck, and making that WW on Isperia a little more understandable.
• The whipping boy of this post, Seraph, is just as bad as her art. It seems unlikely you’ll ever manage to kill a creature with a Seraph, unless they’ve got a 3/3 flier hanging around who they’ve got to block with. If that’s the case, you’re probably winning already. Which would mean Seraph is what tournament players would call a “win more card that, furthermore, is a white card not named Wrath of God, so what the hell are you doing?”
• I’m curious as to what type Argivian Archaeologist ends up with. I suspect it will end up with the hilariously generic “Human” that it’s deadbeat brother Treasure Hunter received. Then again, the Archaeologist is a little more professional: he’s got the glasses, the marked out excavation site – Treasure Hunter’s just got some wicked facial hair – so maybe he can keep his job type.
• Thunder Spirit is, indeed, a spirit, but after Kamigawa… who cares?

All that said, the highlights and lowlights for White.

Highlight: Exile, without a doubt. I’m not sure there’s a precedent for a card being knocked down two rarities upon reprinting, but it’s surprising Exile got that treatment. An awesome card and a sure inclusion in my Prismatic deck.

Lowlight: Death Ward. Regeneration, in the abstract, is an amazing ability. Unfortunately, R&D has made sure (they’re better recently) to gimp it by tagging that “can’t regenerate” clause on every removal spell. Now Death Ward could be salvaged with a cantrip effect or summat, but then we’d be talking about Shelter, wouldn’t we?

*DISCLAIMER: Yes, I will be building an Animate Wall + Illusionary Wall deck. Don’t you judge me.